Living Our Core Values: Bereavement Ministry to Alumnae Extends Compassion

When a young woman graduates from Marian, she becomes part of a network of more than 10,000 women. For some, the Marian sisterhood carries forward throughout life; for others, high school is a distant memory. Most alumnae expect to celebrate reunions and receive correspondence and appeals from their alma mater. Few alumnae expect to see their Marian biology teacher at a family member’s funeral. Yet, at a time when it’s most needed, Marian’s bereavement ministry models the core value of compassion to its alumnae.  

Sr. Joan Houtekier, OSM, served as a Marian science teacher and administrator for 13 years. In 2016, she returned to Marian an outreach minister with the primary responsibility of attending the funeral services of alumnae and their families. This ministry to alumnae serves as a reminder that they are still part of the Marian community and carries forth the Servite mission of compassionate presence.

In the mid-90s, Betsy Kish, then principal of Marian, initiated the bereavement ministry program. She enlisted the help of the Servants of Mary along with Marian’s alumnae director. The plan involved searching the local obituaries to find and attend the funerals of alumnae and their families.

Betsy herself attended many Marian community funerals accompanied by Sr. Margarita Simon+. Through the years, Sr. Suzanne Vandenheede+, Sr. Florence Brinker+ and Sr. Marianna De Simone+ also assisted with the ministry. Year by year, as Marian's alumnae base multiplied, the program grew. 

Today the notification of a death within Marian's community, initiates a series of small acts of compassion. Faculty and staff are notified with a request for prayers for the deceased and their family. Sr. Joan or other Marian staff attend the rosary or funeral. President Michele Romero Ernst ‘81 sends a letter of sympathy. The quarterly alumnae eblast includes the names of the deceased in the class notes. 

Every November, in keeping the church’s tradition to honor the dead, Marian hosts a Memorial Mass and brunch. The Mass is open to all who have lost a loved one, at any time. The names of those alumnae, faculty, staff and Servants of Mary who have died within the year are read aloud. There are families who attend every year to honor their loved one.

Sr. Joan is grateful for the ministry and has witnessed the benefit of it. She receives notes of gratitude from alumnae who are touched that Marian would be aware and present at a difficult time. “It has a great impact on alumnae who may not have had much interaction with Marian since their graduation,” said Sr. Joan.

The bereavement ministry is a powerful testimony to Marian’s core value of compassion. “We want our alumnae to know, no matter how many years have passed, no matter where you go, Marian will remain connected to you in prayer, especially in times of loss,“ said Sr. Joan.